Welcome Joanna!

Our little Jojo is already 2 1/2 months old. Life's been exhausting (in the best way), but it's left me little time for journaling. Joanna Rae Shaw was born April 1, 2016 at 9:15 a.m. weighing 8lbs 2oz. I was five days over her due date and headed to the hospital early on a Friday morning to be induced. I was induced with June and based on her delivery experience, felt fairly optimistic about the day ahead. We checked into the delivery room a little after 7 and at 7:30 the doctor came in to break my water. Piece of cake so far. I was already dilated to a 4 and the nurse started me on a low dose of Pitocin to get things moving. But before the medicine had a chance to kick in, my body started contracting on it's own.

5 minutes before going into the delivery room.
(Just call me torpedo mama. Good grief).

Contractions started at 7:45 and by 8:30 I was really feeling it. They had been steadily coming every 5 minutes or so since they began, but by 8:30 they were coming in strong and fast. 8:45 and I was calling for an epidural, trying not to be a whimp--sure we were still hours away from delivery. By 8:50 I was moaning to Tim that I wasn't sure I'd be able to sit up for the epidural because the contractions were so frequent and painful (every 2 minutes by this point). Another patient was getting an epidural and I was next in line. The nurse assured me that it wouldn't be longer than a half hour before the epi came. I was wincing, breathing heavy, grabbing on tightly to the bed frame throughout each contraction. The nurse reminded me to breath slowly and said she'd check to see how dilated I was in an hour or so. No big deal, right?

By 9:00 I was audibly moaning. I couldn't help it. The contractions were SO painful and there was maybe a 30 second break between them. I was grabbing onto Tim telling him I wanted an epidural, telling him there's no way I'd be able to sit up for one. And by 9:05 the pain was so excruciating and the pressure so strong, I grabbed Tim and told him the baby was coming. The nurse moseyed on in and checked to see how dilated I was. I remember her checking me, and then quickly walking out into the hallway and shouting for the doctor. I remember her shouting something about the baby coming. I was in survival mode on the hospital bed, begging for the epidural. Grabbing Tim's arm and quickly shutting him up anytime he tried to comfort me. Several nurses and the doctor were all of the sudden in the room all around me. It still hadn't clicked that this was it. The doctor let me know that I was fully dilated to a ten and it was time. I was a little in shock. I asked for epidural again and they let me know that there was no time, the baby was coming. That's when pain and panic took over.

I remember repeating over and over again, "I can't do this! I can't do this!" And nobody seemed to have gotten the memo because the doctor told me to push. Wanting it to be over, I pushed. Man oh man did I push. Before my 3rd push, I laid there still repeating, "I can't" and the nurse came over, looked me in the eyes and said, "yes, you can do this." I remember thinking, lady, you don't know me. That positive talk ain't gonna work on me. I quickly disageed with another, "No, I can't!" And she grabbed my hand and said, "You can do this. Your little girl needs you. You can do this for your baby girl." And that's when I shut up, closed my eyes and pushed so hard I thought I might die.

And then she was here. I heard a few cries and they brought her right to me and laid her on my chest.

I'll never forget how beautiful she was at that moment. She stopped fussing and immediately became quiet as she laid on top of me. She was so sweet and I was instantly in love. We named her the next morning. I was alone with her in my hospital room, watching an episode of Fixer Upper. The host on the show is named Joanna. It put the name back in my mind from months earlier when Tim and I had discussed it as a possibility. I looked up the meaning - gift from God or God is gracious, and I knew we had found a name.